Remind me of what my face was

As usual we have gathering in somewhere every afternoon before Chinese New Year Eve.

Just time for a cup of coffee, but we review what happened in the past year , and see how each other changes. We remind each other of what our young faces were , because we know each other for more than 20 years , we can see what we were from the other two persons, then again we will remember what we are supposed to go for.

Ping said to me “ You never change, and become closer to what you were in the past “. “ You seem carefree, no worries, how do you make it ? “

Life is a interesting cycle , we owned happiness and the real One when we are young, ,but sometimes purity means boring ; we can’t wait to grow up as soon as possible to experience more ; even we know there are something you might lose, such as childlike , happiness, kindness; but we believe it is price to pay, and we thought we would have to be able to pay for it, because the adult’s world seems so attractive. We experience more , then we gain more, and we lost more ;that’s called as process of grow-up. Then we’re more and more matured , and gradually can catch the idea about what the life is ; Upon the time, we wish to be childlike, happy , and kind again. That’s life.

Experience it, then we will know what we really want ; never regret for every step, without this, we don’t know how far we could reach , once we realize it, we will smile on what we encounter ; we call for those experiences I believe, and they are coming to help us to understand the world and understand ourselves. Life is like chocolate , if you don’t try , you never know how it tastes like.

It is impossible to be the same as what we were before, fortunately we can know what is the best One we want to be after time passed ; Struggling with reality to be the person I love to be, it needs courage, on the way to find the courage, I meet myself of the best moment somewhere. Did I change ? Of course I changed, some for bad, some for good, and I am learning what is the optimal state of life while I am changing. No judgment for what is good or bad, by mean of this, we will be open minded to see the result after change, no matter how it is , we experience another thing again.

There are still daily chaos waiting for me, I try to avoid, but not able to escape , just as other people do . It is not easy to be carefree, there are always some worries bothering us, how we look it and handle it helps us to decide how big the worry will be ; most of cases I choose to smile on it ; if I only think of how worse myself will be due to the situation, it just makes me terrible and lose mind to handle it, I prefer to see how it impacts other people, if not so big, luckily I can solve the trouble at my side, after all one person’s trouble is easier than all people’s crisis. The trouble never gets better while you put all the worries on it, but the trouble will be minimized while you realize it’s just trouble, then let’s take care of it !!!

Dog year, it’s not a easy year for me, lots of troubles, sometimes I am the person brought troubles. In the mean while I still keep myself awake on who I am and what I want to do ; When you take action , and truly believe something, the road toward the dream simply opens in front of you. 

Again, I am the person as you know me 20 years ago.